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Cafcass uses the term alienating behaviour to describe how one parent or carer undertakes and / or expresses an ongoing pattern of negative attitudes and communication about the other parent or carer that have the potential or intention to undermine, manipulate or even destroy a child’s relationship with their other parent or carer. Alienating behaviours range in intensity, duration and their impact on children.

Cafcass do not use or refer to the term ‘parental alienation’ which is often framed as a condition or syndrome. Cafcass do not focus on applying a label, but on the impact on each child of parental behaviours which may be harmful to them.

A Cafcass Family Court Adviser (FCA) will be concerned when they identify these behaviours because they can damage a child’s sense of self-identity and self-worth, as well as their connection with someone who is important to them and will remain important to them for the rest of their lives. It can also damage the child’s connection with the ‘other side’ of their wider family. It is one reason why a child may reject or resist spending time with one parent, grandparent or carer following family breakdown.

FCAs are aware that a parent saying they are being alienated can be used to counter what is being said about domestic abuse. They are also aware that children can make their own minds up about what has happened and how their view about what has happened affects their attitude to living or spending time with one of their parents. An FCA will explore this with a child who is refusing to spend time with one of their parents for no apparent reason and assess what impact this will have on their long-term welfare.

When a child is resisting or refusing to spend time with a parent, there could be a range of reasons for this, including being frightened of a parent who has been abusive, anger at a parent who has left the family, dislike of a parent or their circumstances, or because they are ‘opting out’ due to feeling under pressure because of the conflict in their family.

It may be that the child had a previously good relationship with a parent but is now being manipulated or coerced into turning against that parent, which may amount to being emotionally abusive as defined in the Children Act 1989.

Where a child is found by the court to be subject to alienating behaviours, the child may hold strong views of their own in addition to those they may have been made to believe by one of their parents. The rationale as to why a child holds specific and strong views about the parent they are rejecting will be explored in the FCA’s assessment of a child’s welfare and best interests.

Where a child is subject to alienating behaviours, it may be in their interests for the authority of the court to be used to work towards restoring the relationship with the rejected parent. The court will carefully balance its decisions to ensure that the welfare of both children and adults are safeguarded as far as possible, especially when there has been domestic abuse. The court will look for ways for a child to maintain their relationship with both parents where this is in their best interests and their welfare is safeguarded.  

How an FCA assesses alienating behaviours

The first step in assessing the reasons for the child’s resistance or rejection of a parent is to consider whether domestic abuse or other forms of harmful parenting are factors. Domestic abuse and alienating behaviours can co-exist. 

Building on our practice guidance, our Child Impact Assessment Framework (CIAF)  has been developed to help our FCAs identify how children are experiencing the separation of their parents/carers and to assess the impact on them, including the impact of any potential alienating behaviours as set out in the guide to ‘Understanding why a child does not want to spend time family time with a parent.'

People who are abusive, controlling or violent will sometimes attempt to deflect blame, or reverse culpability, by making counter-claims that the victim is alienating the child against them when in fact their child has come to their own conclusions based on their experiences.  

FCA assessments focus on what is happening for the individual child. In undertaking their assessment for the court, they try to help parents and the court understand the impact of the family circumstances and adult behaviours on the child and what the child needs to safeguard their welfare. To be successful this requires both parents to engage positively and meaningfully with their FCA.   

Where a child is experiencing alienating behaviours, your FCA will use their professional judgement to assess what impact it is having on the short-term and long-term welfare of your child and what is in their best interests. They consider any other identified risks, the child’s unique needs, their resilience and vulnerabilities, and the child’s wishes and feelings. Your FCA then reports their analysis and recommendations to the court for the judge or magistrates to consider all the evidence, including yours, before the court makes a final decision about who your child should live with and whether it is in their interests to spend time with the other parent.